Personal Growth: A Lifelong Process

Life is what happens to you or what you make happen – it’s your choice. Granted, none of us has complete control over everything in our lives. That’s simply not possible. However, you can choose your path in life in more ways than you think.

I bet you’ve often heard people say things like:

If I could only lose 15 pounds, then everything would be wonderful.

If I could just find the perfect person to love, I’ll be happy.

If this or that or the wonderful other thing happens, I’ll live happily ever after.

There is no one magic event in life that will fix everything forever. Our culture, however, reinforces this concept in many ways, of which media are the most powerful. Consider an average hour-long TV drama. Major problems are presented for the characters and usually everything is neatly tied up and resolved by the end of the show. None of us truly believes our lives are like TV – even so-called reality TV. Life is much more complex than that. The world around us is changing all the time and we need to change with it. Much of what we now know about how people make the constant journey of personal growth can be credited to humanistic psychology.

Humanistic psychology was developed as a response to psychological approaches that were too concerned with neurotic and disturbed behavior (psychoanalytical) or with cause and effect explanations (behaviorism). It emphasizes motivation, self-development, self-knowledge, self-responsibility, and self-understanding, all positive and empowering aspects of human nature. Where psychoanalytic approaches concentrated on dysfunctional human behavior and behavioral approaches concentrated on the mechanics of stimulus and response, humanistic psychology focused on the need to fulfill one’s own potential and to move towards optimal development of the self. The five postulates of humanistic psychology set forth by James Bugental (1964) are:

1. Human beings cannot be reduced to components.
2. Human beings have in them a uniquely human context.
3. Human consciousness includes an awareness of oneself in the context of other people.
4. Human beings have choices and responsibilities.
5. Human beings are intentional, they seek meaning, value and creativity.

Critics of humanistic psychology's early years cite lack of empiricism, failure to adequately address social change, and the encouragement of self-centeredness and narcissism. While humanisitic psychology still does not contain testable theories, recent research has addressed a wide variety of social issues and topics and allegations of supporting selfish beliefs and behaviors result from misinterpretations of theory.

Four important people in humanistic psychology are Alfred Adler, Carl Jung, Carl Rogers, and Abraham Maslow.

Alfred Adler’s key focus was self-determination, the idea that we are active, creative, choice-makers whose actions have purpose and meaning. He believed we are the primary influence in the course our lives take. Adler believed all humans are motivated by a need to fulfill all of our potentials and to reach our ideals for ourselves. If we are thwarted in our efforts, we become discouraged, not psychologically ill. Therapists who follow Adler’s theories try to teach people more effective ways to achieve life tasks with an emphasis on the future rather than on deep examination of the past.

Carl Jung’s focus in humanistic psychology was awareness and acceptance of the full range of one’s being, both the good and the bad. He believed that it was natural for humans to grow toward a balanced level of development, and personality is composed of what we have been and what we hope to be. Jung’s emphasis on self-knowledge and self-honesty encouraged examination of both the bright and dark sides of the self.

Carl Rogers’ client-centered therapy emphasized the development of the fully functioning person. Rogers believed it is in human nature to do the very best we can in any given situation, to each make our existence the most positive it can possibly be. If we fail, it is not for lack of desire, but from distortions in our perception of reality. He believed these distortions come from societal and cultural influences. Humans become damaged when positive regard (approval) from others is based upon what we do (conditional) rather than who we are (unconditional). Rogers believed unconditional positive regard – the offering of nonjudgmental listening and acceptance for who we are rather than what we do – is an essential condition for people to move toward personal growth.

Abraham Maslow is widely considered to be the “father” of humanistic psychology. He engaged in extensive study of the concept of self-actualization, which is working toward fulfilling our potential, toward becoming all that we are capable of becoming. Maslow developed a hierarchy of needs, which states that more basic needs must be adequately met before higher needs become significant motivators. However, the more basic needs do not necessarily completely satisfied at every given moment. For example, we still attend class when we don’t have much in the refrigerator; that is, if we know our paycheck is due in a couple of days, otherwise, if we don’t have employment, the need for food might drive us to skip class and go find a job. Even when you generally feel that your safety needs are met, you will have some anxious moments in your life, such as when that car coming up behind you at the stoplight is going just a little too fast and you’re wondering just how good its brakes are.

It’s never too early or too late to examine your life and think about the choices you could make to improve your happiness, health, well-being, and sense of fulfillment. Life has so much to offer; we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to have the fullest and most satisfying life we each can possibly have.

Parenting: Too Little and Too Much Are Problematic

Overly protective parents might be leaving a lasting impact on their child's personality, and not in a good way.

The above quote is from this article briefly describing the latest research on so-called helicopter parents.

There is ample research to support that neglectful parenting has negative effects on children's development. As a small example, this training document for Arizona CASA/FCRB volunteers cites insecure attachment, deficits in coping skills, lower self-esteem, poorer impulse control, academic difficulties, language deficits, and less positive peer interactions as correlates of neglectful parenting in infants to school-aged children.

The interesting thing is that research on over-parenting -- what is now being termed helicopter parenting -- shows that its effects on adolescents and young adults may be highly negative as well. Among the correlates of overparenting identified in the above recent study are being dependent, neurotic, less open to new experiences, less autonomous, more vulnerable, anxious, and self-conscious.

While a lack of parenting efforts contributes to a negative outcome for children, it doesn't mean that an excess of them is better. Further research on overparenting should contribute helpful information into achieving a balance that is healthy for both parents and children.

The 10% Myth

How many times have you heard something like this?

Well, you know, humans only use 10% of their brains, so if scientists could tell us how to use the other 90%, there would be no more .

It's not true.

The brain is an amazing biological/electrical/chemical structure of up to an estimated 100 billion neurons. We can't survive without it. While it's possible for some people to recover from brain damage and possible for some people to function with certain parts of their brains missing, the idea that we are not using 90% of our brains is, well, mind-boggling. Think of the things your brain automatically does for you: breathing, circulating blood, digesting food, sensing stimuli, regulating body temperature, etc. On top of that, add in all the things that you consciously ask your brain to do for you: walking, talking, reading, thinking, moving, etc. Doesn't sound like a 10% proposition to me. How about you?

Here's a brief article courtesy of the Association for Psychological Science (APS) addressing this myth with an excerpt from the book 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology.

Another take on the ten percent myth can be found at Snopes.com, a great resource for sorting out fact from urban legend.

Psychology Headlines Around the World

One of the features of Think Psych is Psychology Headlines Around the World, a news feed from the wonderful Social Psychology Network. The news box is toward the bottom of the page. I will be featuring resources from SPN in future posts.

Welcome to Think Psych!

Welcome to Think Psych, a blog for the psychologist in all of us, by the author of College Success Insider.